Disclaimer: This Post is Kind of Bloody

Just like the post title says, this post might not be good for someone squeamish.

So last night was "an adventure". I don't mean adventure as in "wow this trip white water rafting in Colorado brought us all so much closer together", but more in the "wow this really sucks. Hopefully by calling it an adventure, I'll eventually laugh at this story" way. So back to last night.

As the movers weren't bringing my stuff till today (Friday), we weren't able to get rid of some of James's items until last night. This included the worst TV ever since I had to watch my Thursday night line up of shows. The worst TV ever is ginormous. It is this really old non-flat monster that is around 3 ft deep and 3 ft across. It also weighs about 200 lbs with the weight all centered around the front screen area. I might be slightly exaggerating on the weight, but I will post photos later. So anyways we needed to move the TV off the stand and move it out of the way so the movers could bring in my beautiful 40" LCD TV that isn't heavy. Long story short (sorry and the story isn't even over) the worst TV ever landed on the floor on my right hand's middle finger. It hurt a lot.

Just thinking my finger got smashed, I did a dance of pain all over the living room, waving my hand, chanting an "F" word that wasn't my last name. Finally James yells at me that I need to run my finger under the faucet. He brings me, still waving my hand, into the kitchen and puts my hand under the faucet. At this point I realize my finger is bleeding, and weirdly, there are blood splatters all. over. everything. in the kitchen. "Hmm" my brain wonders, "was that there earlier?" No. No it wasn't. And then I realize that was my blood. So I do what my body does in any situation where I see blood not connected to a body, I started to faint. Thankfully I end up in the hallway with my finger wrapped in paper towel (thank you James) and I don't completely pass out.

Now James is a bit of a clean freak... and I am not. So James leaves his poor fiancee sprawled out in the hallway and starts cleaning up blood off of everywhere. Under the counter bar top, off the floor, off the walls... because apparently my pain dance amounted to me showering everything in blood. I'm still shocked that a small wound like mine that wasn't that much of a bleeder caused that much splatter.

After I know I am really not going to pass out anytime soon, James examines my finger since I refuse to look at it. Because I'm between my previous employer's insurance and COBRA coverage and the bleeding was under control, I decided I wasn't going to go to the emergency room. I wasn't going to pay $2000 for a band-aid. So my finger gets wrapped up and we go to bed.

Now you probably think I'm the world's biggest wuss. But you would be wrong. I am awesome at pain tolerance. I walked on a broken foot for two months in 6th grade (from a skiing accident) before my Mom's nurse friend made us go to the doctor for an x-ray. I can do pain... I just think blood needs to stay in the body. Whether it's mine or someone else's.

But there is a real upside to this whole story. Two actually. The first is that most likely I will have a cool scar. I'm already thinking the scar story will be about me shark wrestling. Other story suggestions are welcome though. The second upside is that I'm 99% sure everything I cook in the kitchen will turn out perfectly and I'm going to be unbeatable in Wii. Why do I think this, you ask? Well I made a blood sacrifice in my kitchen and living room and unless I've been lied to my whole life by tv shows and movies, blood sacrifices are the ultimate in getting what you want. So I'm really looking forward to that.


Anonymous said...

ew. splatter.

Nick said...

Ahhh! I'm sorry that happened to you. Sounds awful.

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