6.19.2011

Infinite Possibilties

One of the perks of my job is that I get to play with really nice paper. Like... really nice paper. Very expensive paper. The type that only gets used for special occasions like weddings or annual reports when you want people to ignore that your company is losing money.

See, paper companies want printers to upsell projects by pushing better paper. They do this by giving us "swatch books".


Each book contains a line of paper. For example, Neenah Classic Linen (green book) as shown above. In the book you will find samples of all the Classic Linen colors and what paper weights you can buy each color in. Each brand has many lines and each line has many colors. This means lots of swatch books with lots of paper. These swatch books are updated frequently to reflect changes to the lines and paper salesmen pop into the different printer offices and replace the books.

So why did I just bore you with this information? Well I do have a point. My very awesome paper salesman, Bob Cain of Mac Paper, has been saving me old swatch books. I now have two big boxes of old swatch books to craft with.

So what am I going to do with these small pieces of paper? I'm thinking paper flower bouquets to start.


I mean how cute are these flowers?

So now with infinite possibilities of projects to start, I'm enjoying the brain storming before actually starting. We'll see what I eventually settle on and if I actually finish... but at the very least, I have the nicest scrap paper on the planet.

6.05.2011

Wedding Competition

Something you don't realize until you are engaged is that the majority of fellow soon-to-be brides want to make everything a competition.

Oh, you are making your own wedding decorations? My wedding decorations are made from a secret Peruvian handcraft that I learned from an 84 year old man while I volunteered in the Peace Corp. But I'm sure your Dollar Tree crafts will be pretty.

Oh, you are having your cake made at Publix? My cake is being made by a blind, mute genius who only makes one cake a year and my cake will be the last cake he ever makes. But I'm sure your grocery store cake will be nice too.

Oh, you got your dress at a sample sale? My dress is being made by magical mice and birds that appear when I sing. But I'm sure your dress that other people have tried will clean up well too.

Yes, I am exaggerating a bit, but still... it happens.

But last weekend, I had the bitchiest, competitive comment I have ever heard. I didn't even have a reply.

At a friend's wedding, James and I were sitting at a table with fellow Miami grads. We were seated next to a guy I knew and his fiancee that I had just met that day. She and I were discussing the difference between shopping for a wedding dress and shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Long story short, I mentioned that I brought two bridesmaids shopping because all my bridesmaids have very different coloring and builds.

And her reply:

"Oh, I only took my maid of honor because all my bridesmaids are thin and hot. Aren't all my bridesmaids hot, Baby?"

She literally told me that dresses weren't a problem, because her bridesmaids were all hot.

Subtext for those of you who haven't watched Mean Girls in awhile:
1. Your friends are ugly.
2. Your friends are all fat.
3. I'm superior.
4. I also just made a friend of yours agree my friends are hotter.

And I stopped talking to her for the night.

Because how stupid is she?


Christina Hendricks is hot. She is 5'7" ish.


Olivia Wilde is hot. She is 5'7" ish.


Kristen Bell is hot. She is 5'1".

All three women are conventionally beautiful, hollywood women. But all three women have different coloring and body shapes (even though they are all thin).

Unless you are Hugh Hefner, the women around you will look different.

So stop putting other women down to make yourself feel better and get some self confidence.

/rant