I'm going through a serious period of frustration. I know it will pass and that things are happening for the right reasons, but I'm stuck.

I went through a time similar to this when I was in Indianapolis. James and I were engaged already, I hated my boss (literally I still have nightmares about how horrible he was), and was just waiting for my 3 year mark at my company so I would be completely vested in my 401k. At that point I could move down to Jax to be with James, set a wedding date, start a new career, and just be with the man I loved rather than see him once or twice a month. I filled my days with work, searching for a new job, and just dealing with what I had been dealt at this moment in time.
I started wishing my life away. 

If I could just blink my eyes and it would be fall, I would be happy.

I knew I shouldn't feel that way, but I felt stuck. Waiting for my real life to begin.

But I would have missed so many wonderful things if life had really jumped. 

I would have missed learning that my favorite thing in the world is a Friday night spent sitting on my couch alone, in a clean apartment with 30 million candles lit, drinking wine while watching truly terrible DVR'd shows.

I would have missed on my friendship with Carol who I only got to know through bonding over a shared bad work experience.

I would have missed out on learning who I am as an adult, managing my own money and living alone.

I would have missed out on learning a city and discovering my love of crafts and thrift stores.

Now I'm back in the place of wanting the next year to fly by. To a time when I won't have to work 11+ hr days because my sales business will be built. To when I will be out of this horrible, old, small apartment with not enough storage. To when James and I can actually go on a honeymoon. To when our money situation won't be as tight saving for a wedding AND a house.

But what will I miss if I could jump ahead?

My first year of married life.

Developing the friendships of people I've just met.

Helping grow a young professional group from scratch.

My first time on an exec board of an organization.

A time before my responsibilities include lawn maintenance and home repair.

And many things that I don't know about that are in store for me.

So I'm going to keep on going and trying to enjoy life as it happens and remember that I'll look back on this time as special.

But that doesn't always mean I won't sometimes dream of just being in my own house with time to craft and cook.


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