Wedding Competition

Something you don't realize until you are engaged is that the majority of fellow soon-to-be brides want to make everything a competition.

Oh, you are making your own wedding decorations? My wedding decorations are made from a secret Peruvian handcraft that I learned from an 84 year old man while I volunteered in the Peace Corp. But I'm sure your Dollar Tree crafts will be pretty.

Oh, you are having your cake made at Publix? My cake is being made by a blind, mute genius who only makes one cake a year and my cake will be the last cake he ever makes. But I'm sure your grocery store cake will be nice too.

Oh, you got your dress at a sample sale? My dress is being made by magical mice and birds that appear when I sing. But I'm sure your dress that other people have tried will clean up well too.

Yes, I am exaggerating a bit, but still... it happens.

But last weekend, I had the bitchiest, competitive comment I have ever heard. I didn't even have a reply.

At a friend's wedding, James and I were sitting at a table with fellow Miami grads. We were seated next to a guy I knew and his fiancee that I had just met that day. She and I were discussing the difference between shopping for a wedding dress and shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Long story short, I mentioned that I brought two bridesmaids shopping because all my bridesmaids have very different coloring and builds.

And her reply:

"Oh, I only took my maid of honor because all my bridesmaids are thin and hot. Aren't all my bridesmaids hot, Baby?"

She literally told me that dresses weren't a problem, because her bridesmaids were all hot.

Subtext for those of you who haven't watched Mean Girls in awhile:
1. Your friends are ugly.
2. Your friends are all fat.
3. I'm superior.
4. I also just made a friend of yours agree my friends are hotter.

And I stopped talking to her for the night.

Because how stupid is she?

Christina Hendricks is hot. She is 5'7" ish.

Olivia Wilde is hot. She is 5'7" ish.

Kristen Bell is hot. She is 5'1".

All three women are conventionally beautiful, hollywood women. But all three women have different coloring and body shapes (even though they are all thin).

Unless you are Hugh Hefner, the women around you will look different.

So stop putting other women down to make yourself feel better and get some self confidence.

/rant

Why I Can't Watch Wedding Shows Anymore

I used to love the horribly fascinating "reality" shows about weddings. Rich Bride, Poor Bride; Bridezilla (even James couldn't help but watch); and Platinum Weddings were amazing escape shows that allowed me to judge people happily from the comfort of my couch.

But now I'm wedding planning...

...And these shows stress me out.

HAVE YOU SEEN "MY FAIR WEDDING"???? My Fair Wedding with David Tutera is basically telling these brides "You are tacky. So tacky I can't even deal with the idea of you being tacky even if I weren't attending."

And this is now my nightmare. What happens if you have people over for dinner and have a bouquet centerpiece on the table? Nothing. What happens when you suddenly have a bouquet at a wedding? People judge your taste based on the flower combination you choose. Why do you people care? They are dead plants. This is not an extension of my taste. It is a decision I made one day, that mainly was about money because I care more about getting you drunk (for free) than dead things I carry for one hour.

Has anyone seen the Alfred Angelo commercials playing nonstop right now?

Oh mah gosh... I dared to buy a sample dress rather than a "made for me" specialty wedding dress. How can I twirl happily on the beach knowing I'm not wearing an overpriced dress that was made by the same company that made my mother's dress? I'm pretty sure I'll still be able to twirl.

So I'm sure if you aren't wedding planning right now you think I'm overreacting. And I probably am.

But...

That still doesn't change that weddings have changed from celebrating two people's love for each other to events that are just asking for people to judge how much money is spent, the couples' taste, and how beautiful the bride looks. I know because I have been to weddings. I have heard people (and am guilty myself of) judging weddings posted on facebook.

Why does it matter exactly how much I weigh that day? Why does it matter whether I have Michelle Obama arms or arms that jiggle more than jello? Why? It is one day in my life. I'm going to have many more days in my life. But what conversation did James and I have tonight? What diet/work out schedule am I planning on starting now in order to get in shape for the wedding. I'm starting with "Couch to 5k" before I start James' P90X work out.

I am not even wedding crazy. I don't care about half the things the wedding machine tells me I need to obsess about, but that hasn't stopped me from having my first wedding nightmare.

How have other people dealt with the stress and pressure of wedding planning?

Because tomorrow it will be 11 months till the wedding and I am sick of thinking about it. But now I have to pull pics for the wedding website.



BTW how fabulous is that photo? I die.

The Tortuga Inn

If you are my friend IRL you probably know of my brand loyalty to Hilton. I am a devoted Hilton hotel consumer and have been for about 4 years. It started when I worked for the evil M---thon Oil Company and spent many, many nights out on the road. I quickly learned that as far as business class chains were concerned, Hampton Inns were pretty consistent in quality and I loved the packed to-go breakfast bags for a morning snack in the car. So I joined the Hilton Honors program (points never expire!) and became incredibly loyal. I even have the Hilton American Express Card. James and I got engaged in the Conrad Chicago... so yeah Hilton's are special to us.

So what did this super long/boring intro have to do with this post's title? Actually a lot. When it came time to find a place to stay on Anna Maria Island to see my grandpa, I was so excited to find out that there was a Hilton just slightly down the road (20 min) in Longboat Key. I was not excited when I found out that a room the size of a closet was $200+. So after one night, I decided to try elsewhere. And then came the Tortuga Inn.

I wasn't thrilled to spend the night in a place that wasn't a chain and that didn't give me points. But then I fell in love with this little oasis.

So... heads up. As Anna Maria is a destination for travel, no place on the island does hotel blocks for weddings. However, the amazing people at the Tortuga Inn are giving our wedding guests 10% off. I've stayed twice with them now and I can't get over the level of customer service, the beauty of the grounds, and the value of their suites. Our goal is to try to have all wedding guests stay at the Tortuga Inn or their sister property .25 mi down the road at the Tradewinds Resort. James and I suggest that if attending our wedding with another couple (or 2), that you book a two or three bedroom suite. If this is not your idea of fun, we suggest the individual cottages at the Tradewinds for just the two of you. Let me know if you are interested in booking and I'll give you the reservation code.

To show how nice the rooms are, I took photos of the two bedroom suite we had while we went back to the island for my grandma's funeral. My brother Chris stayed with us and he liked the place as well.

The second bedroom where Chris stayed. The beds can come as twin beds or if you give the Tortuga a heads up, they will move them together and put on a mattress pad that turns it into a king bed.

The room James and I stayed in. It looks much smaller than it is.

The full sized, furnished kitchen that had everything you would need to cook a full meal if you wanted.

Full living room... and what you can't see off to the right is the tv that has a dvd player and VHS player. Not sure why you would want VHS... but it is an option. Also my nerdy heart loved the books in the book cases... real books to borrow while you lay out on the beach!

This was our private gate entrance that had a landscaped patio. It was amazing.

Other side of the patio... you can see our gate in the back.

And the large spacious bathroom.

So you can see why we think this place would be a great deal if two couples decided to bunk together. It would be a cost saver and allows you to have a nice two bedroom apartment.

A courtyard pool hidden between rooms. Not the main pool but it was really neat. My point and shoot camera at night does not do it justice.

Our courtyard with fountains and shrubs and trees. You can see our open gate to the right.

If you are attending we hope you'll agree that this a treasure and stay on property with us.

How Not to Wedding Dress Shop

This week I checked another major wedding milestone off my checklist... I bought a wedding dress.

But this isn't the story of how I bought my wedding dress (which I'm super excited about!)... this is the story of how I almost bought the wrong wedding dress. Thankfully I had a level headed friend along to help me make the right decision, but hopefully this story might save someone else.

Why did I buy my dress a year in advance? Well... in case you didn't know, December is the best month to buy a wedding dress.

Reason #1: Think of these dresses as cars. They are incredibly marked up like cars, you are expected to haggle, year end causes owners to want to reduce their inventory for tax purposes, and next year's models are coming in very shortly. So how do you reduce inventory? You reduce your prices!

Reason #2: Between Christmas and Valentines Day, more couples get engaged than any other time of year. What do excited engaged girls want to do almost immediately? Go dress shopping! Since guys are holding off proposing till Christmas, wedding stores are very empty between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This means more sales!

So I decided to do all dressing shopping in one week. This way I wouldn't overwhelm myself with choices, get a great deal, and get a major purchase out of the way. Win, win, win situation.

My mom was a little disappointed that she couldn't be with me until I reminded her of prom dress shopping. Let's just say that when it comes to shopping for me, my mom and I don't always see eye to eye. She then agreed it was best this way.

So.. back to my story. In Jacksonville there was a very expensive dress store that sold wedding dresses. Sharon Batten sold Vera Wangs, Oscar de la Renta, and other insanely overpriced dresses. Saturday at noon the store closed. So last Tuesday when I found out the store was closing, my boss sent me to shop during my lunch time. Store closing = insane deals.

And I found a sample dress that fit me perfectly. Normally a sample dress is HUGE and needs to be clipped in order for you to have of how it fits, but this would have needed almost no alterations.

Note that I look pissed because I was stressed and worried about time. This was a Vera Wang dress that was originally $5,500 but already marked down to $1,400. It also looks a hundred times better in person. And that light makes me look pregnant but I'm not. Also this was a camera phone picture so quality is even worse.

So it is Tuesday. The store is closing soon. This dress is beautiful and I have 15 minutes to make a decision on whether or not to buy this dress. If I don't buy it, there is a really good chance it wont be there even after work. I was freaking out. Luckily Christina had agreed to meet me last minute and was able to be a voice of reason. While the dress was beautiful, it was still out of my price range and I didn't LOVE it.

So my plan was to not buy it, go to a sample sale at White Magnolia on Thursday evening, and if I didn't find anything better, make an offer Friday morning for $700. I believed if it were meant to be, it would still be there.

Luckily White Magnolia was a much better experience and I was able to buy a dress I am in LOVE with for a great price and have no regrets. Story about that later.

So if you go dress shopping, don't go during your lunch break or any other time there is pressure for you to make a decision quickly. Don't let a label sway you to like something more than you would if it were from David's Bridal. Don't settle for like... you will know when the dress is right. And please make sure you bring along a levelheaded friend. Trust me.. that's the best accessory to have.

It's Official (and has been for well over a week)

Sorry for the lack of updating, life got in the way as it sometimes does. James and I had an out of town funeral to attend and then there was lots of catching up to do at work.

Anyhooooooo.....

WE SET A DATE!!!!

Yes, it actually happened. The Earth did not stop spinning, pigs did not fly, and while the South has frozen over... hell has not. But it actually happened :)

So December 10, 2011 I will become Mrs. L Klein, which is exactly my MIL's name (Linda). Which I'm sure some psych major could have a field day with that coincidence, but at least I'll be able to stop spelling my last name 4 times over the phone every time I make a reservation.

So where is it happening?

The Sandbar Restaurant on Anna Maria Island, FL.

This is the restaurant that my family has been going to for 20-some years right on the beach by my grandfather's house. It is absolutely beautiful with white sand beach and the most gorgeous sunsets every night. So it has history for my family, an unbeatable view, and won't break the bank. The best part is that by having a complete destination wedding on the beach, I can throw out all traditions I don't like and make my own rules. So I am pumped :)

At the beginning of the post is a photo of the sunset on the beach (via Sandbar website)

And here is the pavilion where the reception will be held

Team Cake or Team Pie?

James and I have been engaged for over a year now, but haven't really begun wedding planning.

We've visited a few venues and discussed different things, but no date has been set and no deposit made on a venue. Some women might be freaking out, but James and I always focused more on being in the same state than planning a wedding. We had too many variables to worry about that were much more important than wedding favors.

But now we are in the same state, in the same apartment even, and I'm starting to look at the wedding blogs again. I can't do any real planning until James is done with elections, but I can start growing the inspiration folder again.

Throughout the interwebs, the never-ending battle of team cake vs team pie is everywhere. I, however, am only team cake if it is ice cream cake and will eat fruit pies, but don't crave them. So when it comes to wedding cake, I could completely do without. But the darling James actually wants cake, so cake there will be (even though you are looking at $300+ for bad tasting dessert). I didn't even like the look of wedding cakes, until now.

I am in love with this cake. le sigh. If only I had a $100,000 budget.

Cake on the left via The Inspired Bride